My imagination runs wild…

Easter brings out some raw emotions for me. Hope, life, and everlastingly love of a mother to her son. Jesus was only 32 years old when his prophecy was fulfilled. Losing a child at any age is difficult! I wonder what Mary thought about the loss of her son. Of course, she already knew he was special being the Immaculate Conception and all. But what did she envision for Him?

Losing an adult child seems to have other issues! We have so many memories of when they were little and so many expectations during those times, when they pass before we get to witness those expectations coming to fruition, our imagination runs wild!

My son died at 24, was not married, and to my surprise, had no children. I still hold out hope that someone may knock on my door and introduce me to a grandchild, but as time goes on, that hope fades. I did get to witness him finding love! That makes my heart happy! But I still have that wonder of what I didn’t get to see him experience. What kind of future would he have had? Was he saved from something worse? Would my son have had children of his own, and if so, what kind of dad would he have been? Would he have, at one point along the way, realized everything we did for him and know how much we did out of love, despite what he thought at the time?

I know I will never know the answers, and none of us usually get to cross everything off of our bucket list. If we keep that list short and simple, maybe. Top of the list: love those around you as if you may not get another chance tomorrow! None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Even bubble wrap cannot protect us from our destiny. And for all I know, this was exactly that, as it was with Jesus. Questions will forever remain unanswered until we meet again. Well, unless you want to trust the supernatural. I may indulge, but the answer still comes with a question mark to its validity.

Imagination is a wonderful and powerful thing. I get to create the future in my mind I had wished for my son since the day of his birth. It lets me sleep at night. I also imagine him next to Jesus, living it up, and happy. My ultimate wish for him. If I am sad, it is my sadness, not his. He reached his final resting place. I can only have peace that even though he didn’t live and experience my expectations for his future, he fulfilled the destiny set the day he entered this world and was rewarded on the day he left us. I can live with that.

This Easter, I look to the Heavens, smile, and know in my heart, my imagination isn’t too far from reality. Easter is about redemption, everlasting love, forgiveness, and light. I may not get to hold him, but I have him in my heart always! He is my prodigal son and he has returned home. He was here on loan, but the love I have for my children is eternal. Easter reminds me of that every year (even though it is an ever-present fact). He is Risen! As always, I cry because he is gone, but I smile because he was here.

#forever24 #heisrisen #gonebutneverforgotten #thedashinthemiddle

Author: Christina Herold Trueblood

My name is Christina Trueblood. I am married and live in Central Illinois and am the mother of two, a daughter and son. Unfortunately, I lost my son in August 2017 in a single vehicle truck accident a couple of miles from our home. He was 24. I have documented some of my story on Facebook over this first year and have been encouraged to start a blog. I hope to help other families who have gone through loss and struggle to make any sense of it. My faith has kept me going and I believe one day, we will meet those loved ones we have lost again and it will be as if no time has passed. Until then, I want to honor their lives and know they left a mark on my life! Please follow me and share your stories.

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