I’ve been there, and am still there… and am not alone!

As I sit here, thoughts are rampant!! One of my son’s buddies was killed last night in an ATV accident. He was 20 years old. My heart hurts… for many reasons!! For those of you who have lost a child, when another passes, it is like repeating your own loss all over again!! We know exactly what that family is going through… step by step by step!! 😢

To those that are new to this unfortunate club, my heart aches for you and I have no easy words. I wish there was something I could say that takes away the pain of your loss. The only thing I can tell you is I am here for you!! I will stay quiet in a corner if needed. I will hold your hand. I will get you more Kleenex. I will listen to you and do whatever is needed. But I can’t take away the pain!!

I can tell you I will continue to talk about your son. I will share stories to remember the life he lived! I will look at pictures over and over and over. I know his life had meaning, and will continue to have meaning!! He was here for a reason and has changed the lives of many!

I know the first of everything you experience without him will bring tears: first holiday; first birthday, of his or anyone; the first day you don’t get a call or card of condolence; and so many more. I can tell you there will be triggers you cannot prepare yourself for. They will hit you out of nowhere! You might be driving down the road, folding laundry, cleaning up a mess, buying groceries, or watching tv. No prepping yourself. Just know on those days, I will be praying for you!

Grief is not something you will get over, especially the loss of your child! It is different than any other loss you will have. This does not mean you don’t love others you have lost. This loss doesn’t make you a widow(er) or an orphan. This loss makes you incomplete. You may never feel whole again. You will not get over this loss, but you will get through it! Hold on tight for the bumpy ride ahead. Through all of it, know many of us are here still praying! That won’t stop!! Ever!!

I want to sugarcoat it but I can’t. I can only stress to not lose yourself and your purpose. You are now living for your son as well. Live the best life possible. You will find joy in the things around you. Give yourself time to heal and some of that beauty will return. You will never stop missing your child, but he will continue to give you purpose! He will be shining down on you and give you signs right when he knows you need them. Keep the faith and know he is in good hands!

This is an ongoing process you will go through. Do not feel alone or that you have to do this alone! Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. You have many here to help along the way. As with my son, I know you will cry because he is gone, but I want you to smile because he was here!

#gonetoosoon #neverforgotten #buddiesinheaven #thedashinthemiddle

Author: Christina Herold Trueblood

My name is Christina Trueblood. I am married and live in Central Illinois and am the mother of two, a daughter and son. Unfortunately, I lost my son in August 2017 in a single vehicle truck accident a couple of miles from our home. He was 24. I have documented some of my story on Facebook over this first year and have been encouraged to start a blog. I hope to help other families who have gone through loss and struggle to make any sense of it. My faith has kept me going and I believe one day, we will meet those loved ones we have lost again and it will be as if no time has passed. Until then, I want to honor their lives and know they left a mark on my life! Please follow me and share your stories. View all posts by Christina Herold Trueblood