I met someone last week who had a ‘step further’ than I in dealing with the loss of a child. It reminds me we all deal with a different, painful loss. My loss was in an instant. I didn’t see my child suffer over time. This situation may have been over 30 years ago for him, but as I have said before, when you bring up a loss of a child, our own loss comes forward as if it just happened yesterday. Time is not a factor when you have lost a child, ever! It is a pain that only changes, but never leaves.
His story… he lost his daughter when she was just 3 years 9 months old to brain cancer. He was crushed and devastated. He explained that at that time in his life, he not only lost his daughter, but also his job and his home. He said at one point, he had a gun to his head with the hammer pulled. It was a faithful voice that talked him out of it! My heart ached for him and what he went through. If he only knew then what he knows now. He knows that death was peace for her after that battle. What followed the rest of his life is molded by love and heartache combined. It is a guiding force of what he had, what he longed for, and how precious life is! That child, though here for a short while, has changed a lot of lives without knowing it. But I know it. Now you know it. I sure hope dad knows it too! Life is never in vain, no matter how long or short we are here!!
Now, I will have naysayers who will wonder why a three year old had to suffer with brain cancer in the first place! Good question, but I cannot answer with authorization. What I can say is this is not all God’s doing and I am personally tired of Him getting blamed for ALL the bad that happens. The devil is among us and if you believe there is a God, then you must acknowledge the devil and the evil he brings with him. I can also address that God did not abandon this child or her father. That little girl left a legacy of love, life-changing behaviors, and her life had meaning. Sometimes, we don’t know what those meanings are, but I believe those who are meant to find out will and it will make perfect sense. It also may not happen while we are on this Earth, but there is a plan. I believe that with all my being.
It takes moments and encounters like this for me to be humbled and brought back to Earth. As I have stated before in previous posts, I am far from unique! I don’t ever want to forget the many who walk among us who have been in this situation. Their situations may differ in context, but our end result is the same: a loss!
When walking down the street or standing in line at the grocery store, never assume the life of the person next to you. We are all dealing with issues, old and new. Compassion is free and so is kindness. We don’t wear our stories on our sleeves, but they are a part of what led us to this point in our life! They have brought out the worst and best in us. I choose to share my stories and feelings openly. Not all people do. I hope this sharing is my loss bringing out the best in me…
#thedeathofachild #lifeisshort #lovelifeandothers