Make Memories to Never forget…

As this year winds down, and the festivities of the New Year begin, I am again reminded how I will be entering another year with just memories. I have been on this road of ‘just memories’ for over six years, leading up to seven in August of 2024, but isn’t that what we all do? We enter each new year with memories of the last. I hold onto memories a little tighter, and for a little longer these days. The memories will sustain me. They have to. For some moments, I can never recreate the memory, no matter how hard I try. We don’t seem to think about that when we are making our memories.

I have a lot of memories from this past year that are wonderful memories I am also taking into my future to relive and smile at as they come to mind. Those good moments will happen. If we choose to only look at what we lost, we will miss the good in front of us. This was an epiphany moment for me. It came to me that first Christmas after we lost our son and I have held onto it ever since. I cannot stop living because my son died. It is not an insult to him. It is in honor of him. He made me a survivor and would want that for me. I try to be positive at all times. This is something my mother did all of the time. Now I know why. She found positives in the memories and held them to a higher power than the grief. I get it now!

I was speaking with someone the other day and one person reminded the other person that was there that my son died several years ago. The other person responded with, I did know that. The mere fact he died is engraved into my heart. I thought, “Wow! I won’t ever need reminded that my son died.” What I don’t want to forget is that he lived, and lived a lot in his 24-1/2 short years. A LOT!

As I go through pictures, which is all I have next to his memories, I recall so many situations that came from those pictures. I relive those moments to refresh the life I gave birth to. It is a coping mechanism. I have taken some of the digital photos and tried to make them look new. It doesn’t work too well. With the new technology, we have actually had some pictures turn to motion. That is great and creepy at the same time! The videos are great because they are also memories of him in action showing just how well he “lived,” but not creepy like a ‘still’ coming to life.

I have a daughter I love dearly and who misses this kid as much as I do. The relationship between siblings is very different. She lost a brother AND a friend! I, too, have lost three siblings. I know that loss all too well. I am not the only one in this scenario. Never have been. Another epiphany! I know my son is still a part of my daughter’s life in the same way he is mine, if not more. Her two children are genetically linked to that kid of mine in more ways than I can count. Their mannerisms mimic him without him even being present, which is proof he lives through them. Same with my brothers and their offspring. Reminders to us that a life was lived and will carry on just like the memories and stories we share with each other and those who never even knew them.

If we all crumble from grief and fail to live on (LIVE being a key word) when someone we love dies, the only memory we leave for others is our sadness from that moment on. That is not what your loved ones would want. Yes, I lost a son. Yes, I lost a future with my son. Yes, I lost the ability to watch him get married and start a family. Those moments were never guaranteed. Those were moments I had wished for and hoped for. He was a wish I had that came true. I miscarried before I had him, so he was my rainbow baby (born after a loss). He was not a guarantee either, but I had him. I am going to thank my dear, sweet Lord for the blessing He had given me that I wished for. If I look at what I didn’t get from this experience, I feel ungrateful and selfish because what I had was messy, frustrating, exhausting, argumentative, wild, crazy, and wonderful. I don’t want to forget any of it.

This post is a lot about memories, but it is more about never forgetting. Each life is important, if not to us, to someone. Each memory is a trace of life that existed and changed us, or someone we know. I don’t ever want to forget the life that made those memories! As the New Year approaches, think about the life lived by those around you. Think of how you are different because of them and their actions. Think about what positives you can make for the future of the memories you will leave for those around you. Never forget. Never undervalue the moment. The memories you are creating may have to sustain the life of those you leave behind. Because of those memories, I cry because they are gone, but I smile because they were here!

#neverforget #memories #forever24 #thedashinthemiddle