Every year, I have written you a letter on your birthday. This year will be no different. I like to recap all the experiences we have had this past year. We know you were here in spirit! We felt it many times!!
We have just had a send off to Heaven for your Uncle Mark!! I know you greeted him with open arms and thanked him for being here for us in every way when we lost you. He and your aunt were the first call I made that night. Truth is, I didn’t even know what had happened to you yet when I phoned him. I just knew it wasn’t good and that all the words being spoken to your dad and me by the deputy sheriff and the coroner would need a sound person to decipher and translate for us! That he did with flying colors!
One thing I also did this past week was I posted a lot on Facebook leading up to today. Maliciously, I wanted to make sure no one forgets you. It is my biggest fear. I can’t explain it, but it’s the greatest fear I have. I told your story several times this past year for the Victim’s Impact Panel. I do believe I am helping other mothers/parents/offenders avoid our predicament. I hope so anyway! I feel it has been a calling for me! It also doesn’t hurt me to spend an hour talking about you! Especially when I have a captive audience that cannot escape. It reminds me of when you and/or your sister would get stuck in the car on the long ride into school after you made me mad before leaving the house!! Lol!! You once told me it was the worst part of moving so far out into the country. The lectures only lasted 3/4 of mile before we moved and got lengthened to a 20 mile drive!!
This year, the pandemic and politics have not changed too drastically! Although, I do believe the people of this country are starting to understand that what we hear and what actually happened resemble the stories a kindergartner tells their parents, and the blame game just has older kindergartners yelling “it’s not my fault!” I’d say it was funny if it weren’t so sad… Prices have soared! Your gas guzzler truck would not be fairing well at all! You would still drive one though, I know!!
That sweet girl you fell in love with is getting married this year! I believe you would be very proud of her strength! I know you will watch over her as well as she embarks on the adventure of her lifetime!!
Speaking of adventures, we have sure been on one with your niece and nephew! That little girl is the female version of you!! They both are actually a lot like you; cute, stubborn, smart, funny, lover of animals, witty, messy, and very good eaters! I can pretty much write the book on what your sister will experience! When she was younger, her view was that of a sibling, not a parent! Changes drastically from the other perspective!
As always, my letter just rambles on and on! I want you to know you are loved and missed every day. I will always continue to share stories and smile when others tell stories! Just so you know, my hair still changes color pretty quickly for some of them! I know your 24-1/2 years are not as many as I had hoped to get with you, but I never want to forget you lived in those years. I could write a book on the amount of material you provided (and may still). We will see… One thing remains the same, I cry because you are gone, but I smile because you were here!! Today, and always, we celebrate you!!
#forever24 #birthdayinheaven #gonebutnotforgotten #thedashinthemiddle
One thought on “It’s your 29th birthday, Son! #5 since you’ve been gone…”
Heartfelt words that could only be written by a mother who has lost a child. Cody will never be forgotten.