The road to hell is paved with good intentions… How many times has that been said? That phrase never leads to a happy ending. We know the road to hell could be what you leave behind. I know my son set out to have a good time that fateful night and did not think him not living through the drive home would be the end result. What we went through from that point on, as a family and group of his friends, was a lot like hell!! Because of this, I have vowed to try harder to get my message across to those who want to just have a good time! I don’t want to put a damper on their good fun, but I do want them to think hard about the choices they are making and the ramifications involved. So here is my next step…
I have been asked if I would be willing to speak at a DUI offenders class. Without hesitation, absolutely!! There are so many things I want to say, but I know I need to send a message and not just share my story. After the most recent loss of another young life, I know whatever I say to this group must have valid and strong facts to go with my message. So, as hard as it was, I got the records of my son’s wreck. That was a big step for me since I had not seen any of the information from that night! Wow! Glad I waited almost three years to do it.
Here is what I received: the police report; photos of the wreck and scene, but no photos of my son (purposefully withheld); and the toxicology report. That was a lot of information to absorb! Not going to lie, my heart hurt from it because it didn’t have to be! One phone call could have changed everything!!
After viewing these records, I did some research. How many drinks did my son have in order to be in the condition he was in? What would that do to his frame of mind? Well, the answer was a lot to drink and the truth of the matter is that he probably didn’t feel anything. I am conflicted between seeing that as a blessing or a curse! Blessing for him, curse for me and the survivors!!
My goal now is to share this information and try and stop the next loss. I have completed a PowerPoint to share this message, and I hope it works. If it stops one more person from joining these young men, it will be worth going through the pain of looking at those pictures and reading those reports! I don’t wish this on anymore families!!
So, I felt it only right to share this information with his sister, girlfriend at the time he passed, and one of his closest friends that was like a brother from another mother! Can’t say they were completely shocked either, but I am glad they had the ability to see them this way and not spread out through social media. I don’t plan on sharing those in that manner, unless shock therapy is required. Trust me, it took me almost three years to look at them! They are not pleasant, even now, but I feel they are necessary to make my point.
Until we are able to reconvene in public again, I will sit on this PowerPoint. It will not, however, prevent me from continuing to spread a message that drinking and driving do not mix! In honor of my son, and those friends who have so recently joined him, refrain from drinking if you are driving, or call a friend, family member, Uber, or cab!! It doesn’t have to end badly!! I still cry because he is gone, but I smile because he was here!! I want to honor his memory and remind everyone he was more than that fatal decision that night!
#gonebutnotforgotten #dontdrinkanddrive #roadtohell #thedashinthemiddle