My next step, I must try harder…

They say it is difficult to learn from someone else’s mistake. That is unfortunate and very apparent. Today, another one on my son’s friend’s joined him in Heaven. As a parent, I tried to warn others. It is evident they believe they are all invincible, just as my son thought he was. At my son’s funeral, I tried to tell ALL the young people there that his death was avoidable and to learn from his misjudgment. I tried. As a parent of a 24 year old, to stand up and speak at his funeral was difficult, but I felt it was necessary, and I tried.

Today, yet another friend, acquaintance, or buddy, joined my son and his friend that just passed three short months ago. I don’t know what else I can say. I know what that news does to a parent! To know the exact emotions this family will endure for the rest of their lives… the exact emotions their siblings will deal with for the rest of their lives… All the moments this family will miss out on going forward… knowing all they will have are memories and photos to replace the huge hole in their lives… I tried, and I am so sorry for them.

All the families with this unwanted club membership can speak until we are literally blue in the face. Maybe I should have gotten photos to show the brutality and devastation involved. Truth be told, I have not even seen pictures of my son’s wreck. Even so, if it could have prevented anything from happening in the future, I would have done it. I may still. I know I have to try harder.

To the newest members of this horrible club, I am sorry. I am sorry for all the nights going forward when you lay awake hoping you will hear the door open, only to end up crying yourself to sleep when reality strikes. For all the times you want to pick up the phone and call just to hear his voice message, I am sorry. For all the posts and mentioning of him that will leave you in tears, but glad to hear his name just the same, I am sorry.

To all the parents with young adults, please share my blog. To all the young people who read this, you are not invincible! Bad things happen, but some of that bad can be prevented! As a parent, you are a piece of us and we love you. We know we can’t be with you 24/7, but we would do anything in our power to keep you safe from harm. What do you wish for us? Do you want us to bury you? Do you wish harm on yourself? Look into your future and ask what you can do to make sure your dreams come true, hence, allowing our dreams to come true.

We get upset at our children’s actions sometimes. That being said, parents, the next time your child calls you in the middle of the night to pick them up to avoid driving, you hug them and thank God!! I can get over being upset with my child. I cannot get over losing my child. That is a grief that never goes away.

This is me trying harder. After starting this blog, I have already sent the request to see what it takes to get my son’s police file from the night of his accident. Still don’t know what I will actually be able to do, but I knew I would get a sign when it was right. I think it is right. Until then, I pray that no more of my son’s friends parents have to get the same visit I did, or have to write their child’s obituary, or have to look over their life in photos knowing there will never be a new photo to add. We have to try harder to make sure. Until then, we cry because you are gone, but smile because you were here.

#tryhardertoteach #toomanytooyoumg #dontdrinkanddrive #thedashinthemiddle