The other day, someone tagged my son in a heartfelt post. It had me sobbing, remembering the moment she was referring to in that memory! At first, I was wondering why it caused tears. Then, I thought to myself, “don’t ever forget why you still cry!” The revelation hit me, I hope I cry for those endearing moments for as long as I live!
Then, a few nights after, I was on the phone with a long time friend, and the same sentiment was referred to: don’t ever stop crying! Trust me, I won’t! I also won’t stop praying for my son! It is in those moments I am closest to him.
As Christmas approaches, it seems I do a lot of both, crying and praying! As I put up my Christmas tree with all my ornaments of Christmas’ past, the tears were in full force. I have stories behind a lot of them and some were made by my children. Some are dated. Some have pictures of my child the year they were made. Some were definitely made by a child, but they hang proudly on my tree. I enjoy those memories, even though they make me cry.
We never really lose anyone. We lose out on someone, but those moments we lose were never guaranteed anyway. Hold onto the memories. Remember the times that made you laugh. And never refrain from the tears that will follow!! Those tears are heart-shaped and full of the love you still have within you!!
I pray for my son every day. I pray he is proud of his family and friends. I believe those friends he had still honor his memory. They do that every time they tag him in their hunting photos or share stories around the camp fires. Also, every time they drive by the house and honk!! I am pretty sure they still share drinking stories!!😳 I know they still leave mementoes at the scene.
Memories are all that I have of my son, but I continue to make new memories to go along with them. He would want me to. Sometimes, I catch myself wishing he were making these new memories with me, but then I realize, he is! As always, I cry because he is gone, but I smile because he was here!!
#christmasishard #memoriesofchristmaspast #angelsamongus #thedashinthemiddle