Well, my fear is coming true! Made out my Christmas cards and am missing a name at the bottom. Last year, I had my son’s name in my Christmas card closing with thanks to everyone for all the love and support after he had passed. It had only been four months. In my head, my heart, and my house, it had not sank in he was gone until that holiday. This year, even though I put his picture in my collage on the front of the card, his name is missing in the closing… I literally choke up every time I try to say it out loud.
My biggest fear when my son passed 15-1/2 months ago is that he would start fading out of view. This Christmas card reflects my fear!! I know he will live forever in my heart and always be in my thoughts and actions, but this stings!! I also know eventually, he would have been removed because he was an adult and could do his own card. That, in itself, would have broke my tradition. Guess I am more upset on the cause of this break in tradition. His growing into his own would have been acceptable. Now, the choice for me was removed.
When we leave this world, we take nothing with us, but we leave more behind than we realize!! We leave a legacy, whether it is large or small could depend on our age when we join our Lord in His kingdom. Some actions of others can be traced back to this legacy! I know I don’t see a mud truck without thinking of my son sinking his truck completely in mud! I mean COMPLETELY!! Mud inside and out!! Just so you know, mud is much harder to remove than you think!! I don’t look at camouflage anything and not think of him. Funny story, when my grandson first started talking, everything was “Uncle Cody!!” When he would see someone in camouflage, he would yell “Uncle Cody!!” It was so cute!!
We are all different because of him and the things he did while he was here. He was a protector by nature. He would always stick up for the little guys! I loved that about him!! I love that he loved music—all kinds of music!! He speaks to me through music still today! I think I am needing to share stories to remind myself he didn’t completely fade off into the sunset… he is, and always will be, close to my heart!!
As I re-read this, I have decided I will sign his name on the card. It is just in invisible ink that only I can see… No one fades if we promise not to let them!!
Merry Christmas!! 🎄🎁
#merrychristmas #livesonimmy heart #memorieswillsustainus
