Every year, on your birthday, February 10th, I write you a letter. I know it sounds insane because you will never read it, but it is what I do! I will continue to do this for as long as I can. I like to recap the year and, hopefully, share the moments so I can feel as if you were there. People can argue if they want, but I know in my heart that you were present anyway!
So, thirty-two years ago today, I was sent to the hospital to be induced. It didn’t happen. I went into labor on my own before the doctor could prescribe pitocin. What an event! Two days overdue with my rainbow baby and then you entered the world as if you were on a slip-n-slide. Maybe too much information in that statement, but it’s the truth. You spent your time on Earth the same way, fast and furious. I celebrate you this day and know God gave me you to fill my heart with 24-1/2 years of memories I will never forget! Some of those memories, though they still make my hair turn gray, are who you were: a daredevil from the moment you entered this world!
This is the eighth birthday of yours we have celebrated your life since you left this Earthly realm and it still seems unreal to me that you would be 32! I have not aged a bit! I would love to know what you would have been like at this older age. I have so many visions in my head. My guess is, you would have little to no hair (not much different than what you had at 24). Runs in the family, sorry. You would probably not be as active unless you had little ones to chase. I can only guess. If you were like my brothers, this is when you would have truly grown up. I wish I could have witnessed it.
So many things have happened this year that I am sure you would have been quite redneck about. Between politics and the uncivilization that seemed to be going on, I think your redneck might have gotten much redder. Your lame logic would have kicked into gear at full speed. People can speculate as to what I am referring to, but we will never truly know how you would have responded. I have no doubt the American flag would be waving and you would be yelling. That wouldn’t change no matter what was going on in the world around you.
Your sister took on a new position where she is working. If you have any clout up there, can you send some good vibes her way. She is taking on a lot. I know she can do it. What I am not convinced of is if she knows she can do it. I know you would be rooting for her on the sidelines if you were here. You were always a great one to cheer her on, as she was for you. Even if you didn’t do it in front of each other.
Your niece is turning into you more every day. She hates school, but loves socialization. She wants school to be fun and now she has to work when she is there. If you have any additional power over her direction after assisting your sister, please change this one for the better in regards to education. She is super smart like you were, but doesn’t want to do anything with it with the exception of playing a very bossy teacher when we “play” school at grandma and grandpa’s house. Granted, she is only six. Just trying to circumvent the path so she likes school.
Your nephew is so super smart. He excels at school and is also very good about assisting other students. I know you were like that, too, with the younger kids at school. He is almost as tall as your sister and me. I know on my part, it isn’t saying much since I am apparently shrinking in height. Your sister teased me about it (just like you would have) and I told her she used to be my favorite living child. She thought that was terrible of me to say, but I reassured her you would have thought it was funny. That’s another family trait – dark humor.
I ran into some of your friends recently and one of your past coaches as well. It never ceases to amaze me how you are still so fondly remembered by those who knew you. They still share their “Cody” stories with me and it swells my heart. Most of them call me “Mama Trueblood” and I love it! I never want you to be forgotten for the fun-loving kid you were. And you were… most of the time! We all know how rowdy and loud you could get, but again, that is who you were.
I know you were joined this past summer by your Uncle Steve on my side. He loved you on Earth and I am sure you had quite a reunion! I pray he didn’t suffer before he left us, but I know he was welcomed home by so many up there with you. Your sister and I both have asked that you be put in the yellow time out chair. I have that vision in my head and it makes me smile thinking of your sitting there sulking because you got in trouble. It’s a mom thing! I say that a lot, but it is true. It keeps you real for me. I still yell down the basement steps for you to come and get your crap out of the laundry room. And, I will continue to do so!
As I conclude this letter that is already longer than I thought it would be, I want you to know we celebrate your life, mourn the vacancy, and pray for signs every day that you hear us as we remember so much life lived in the short years we were given. I treasure the memories every day! And, as always, we cry because your are gone, but we smile because you were here!
#itsyour32birthday #forever24 #gonebutnotforgotten #thedashinthemiddle
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