Many things on my mind as we close the gap on this six-year date! To love and lose is difficult. What do you do with all the love you wanted to share? Well, death has taught me one thing…LOVE, LIVE and LAUGH like there is no tomorrow!!
Cody left a mark on a lot of people I had no idea he was making. I knew he was my little social butterfly at an early age. What I didn’t realize until he passed is that he had “lived” more in his 24 years than I apparently have lived in mine, and I had almost 30 years on him!! So what have I done different since losing him…? I look back at these journal entries I have made and I see a lot of emotions, but I see a lot of growth, too. One thing did not change…I still love my son!
The love you feel will never go away because of death!! In many cases, we are even more aware of that love!! That is what I want to change going forward first and foremost!! Tell those I care about how I feel!! Today!!
I have decided to be the best version of myself, although I hope that comes with very little change. I now make sure I thank people more for the kindness and efforts on my behalf. Something I wish I had done more consciously before! I acknowledge the positives that are still ever-present in my life everyday!!
I have also grown emotionally! Things that used to upset me or get on my nerves, I am able to shrug off more easily now. I may still get irritated when driving in traffic, but even that doesn’t seem as bad as it was.
Today is here. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us: our parents, siblings, OR our children!! It is sad to lose a loved one, but that person would not want us to die too!! Live your life for them in every way! I may not go mud-bogging as Cody did, but I will not sit out the dance anymore just because I may not know the words to the song!! Like always, I cry because he is gone, but I smile because he was here!!!
#sixyears #gonebutnotforgotten #forever24 #thedashinthemiddle
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